Navigating Grief During the Holiday Season:
Although the holiday season is most commonly associated with feelings of joy, love, and celebration, for some it can bring about feelings of sadness, depression, and even grief. Whether you, a family member, or a loved one is experiencing hardship this holiday season, it’s important to remember grief doesn’t pause just because there are celebrations happening around us. In fact, feelings of grief can be intensified by said celebrations.
Learning to Recognize and Honor Your Feelings
One of the most important things you can do while navigating grief is to recognize it. Name your feelings, and allow yourself to sit with them. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel, regardless of your surroundings, regardless of what anyone else is feeling, and regardless of any pressure (internal or external) to move on from your grief.
Grief is not like climbing a mountain, but it is more like swimming in the ocean. Waves of grief may come and go, they may remain calm and steady for years before another storm. It's completely normal and cliche as it may seem, it will get easier to navigate with time.
Adjusting Expectations and Plans
Knowing that this time of year may be more difficult, it’s important to set proper expectations for yourself. Adjusting holiday traditions or plans may be necessary in order to allow yourself time to process your emotions, especially in cases where said feelings of grief are new. Remember that even if it’s upsetting to other people around you, it’s okay to cancel or change plans. This is a time to focus on self-care.
You may be thinking “We host Christmas dinner every year” or “What about the kids?” And we hear that. In cases like these, we suggest being honest with friends and loved ones about what you’re going through. Consider suggesting another family member or friend host this year or enlisting support when it comes to kids’ activities and events [Link to A Guide to Strengthening Parent-Child Connection After School].
Creating New Traditions
Consider taking this time to start a new tradition that honors your loved one. This can be a comforting approach to include and commemorate them in your holiday celebrations going forward. Consider lighting a candle in their honor, making a donation to their favorite cause in their name, or making their favorite dish for holiday meals.
Recognizing Grief in Loved Ones
Just as you are, others in your family or friend group may be feeling at a loss after their loved one has passed. Because grief can be different for everyone, it's important to know the signs of someone who’s struggling. This can look like:
Changes in typical behavior
Difficulty with sleep
Fatigue
Intense feelings of sadness, overwhelm, anger, and/or numbness
Irritability
Loss of appetite
Questioning their belief systems
Social withdrawal
and more
How You Can Support Someone Who’s Grieving
Because grief can manifest in so many ways, it can be hard to know what someone processing grief may need at any given moment. Three fool-proof things that you can offer a person who’s grieving are:
Active listening
Practical support
Respect for their choices
Utilizing compassion, self-care and a high level of empathy and understanding will go a long way when trying to help someone who is processing through grief (including yourself). It's important to know that no matter how difficult this time is, you don’t have to go through it alone. If you, your child, or another loved one is struggling with grief this holiday season, we can help. Reach out for a consultation by visiting: https://lilactherapycenter.org/contact
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